Thursday, November 20, 2014

New Poetic Form

Fade to Black

Harmonious chirping bouncing through the air,
The birds sing their song of joy
Bursts of sunlit warmth
Radiating from the fruitful soil
But as the sun sets
The Earth faces turmoil
Singing ceases
Life decreases
The bitter cold wind whistling
Through the inanimate, leaf-barren trees
Grass once green and thriving
Now nothing but a cadaverous, impoverished desert
A wasteland foreign to vivacity
With only the pale yellow sun hanging above.


Given Poetic Form

Ode to Spring

World of color
Life to bloom
Melting away the dead of winter
A new light shines through

Long days of yearning
Long nights of sorrow
Come to an end
The brightness of tomorrow

Excitement
Vibrancy
Contentment
Joy

The song of the birds echo through the trees
Gentle gusts of wind
Whisking away the yesterdays 
With warm rays of sun

The bad now good
The sin now forgiveness
The tears now laughter 
The hurt now comfort

Sadness fleeting
Now, only life.




Tuesday, November 18, 2014

3 Step Poem

First Draft

Tranquil, peaceful, calm
the warm sand across my feet
Clear, open, vast
cool, salty water against my feet
Scorching sun
Fluffy clouds
My umbrella like a shield around me
protecting me
from the burning sun above
Extravagant blue
Open ocean
Expansive sky
stretching out before me like a map
as I close my eyes
and feel the gentle breeze.

Critiques: I need to choose different adverbs towards the beginning of the poem, rather than "across". Also, I need to change the way I describe the way the water feels, the way the sand feels, etc, as well as describe exactly how the sun feels.

Second Draft 

Tranquil, peaceful, calm
the warm sand between my toes
Clear, open, vast
cool, salty water against my feet like a refreshing breath of clean air
Scorching sun
freckles appear on my nose
Fluffy clouds
My umbrella like a shield around me
protecting me
from the burning sun above
Extravagant blue
Open ocean
Expansive sky
stretching out before me like a map
as I close my eyes
and feel the gentle breeze.

Critiques: Instead of immediately starting off with a description of the beach, I should lead up to it slowly by explaining things that might suggest that I am talking about the beach.

Final Draft

Sighing deeply
Walking towards the direction of the sunshine
eyes closed as I approach the shore
Tranquil, peaceful, calm
the warm sand between my toes
Clear, open, vast
cool, salty water against my feet like a refreshing breath of clean air
Scorching sun
freckles appear on my nose
Fluffy clouds
My umbrella like a shield around me
protecting me
from the burning sun above
Extravagant blue
Open ocean
Expansive sky
stretching out before me like a map
as I close my eyes
and feel the gentle breeze.